A New Chapter without a Title

We all go through stages of life in which our identities evolve and the face we present to the world changes – sometimes gradually and sometimes dramatically. Looking back, we might see the first hobby, the first serious relationship, the first marriage, the first professional job, the first child, the first divorce, the first trip abroad, a conversion to a new way of thinking, or retirement, to name a few. Things often run their course and what we found inviting may no longer be so. We grow into them, and out of them. So it is with me.

As of October 31^st, I will have terminated my psychology license, which I’ve had since 1991. I’ve already let my school psychology license expire after my retirement from Intermediate School District 916. That license I first obtained in MD around 1973.

Now, I want more sovereignty about where I put my attention. In giving up this license, I will no longer need to think about continuing education units as defined by someone else or biennial filings and fees. Instead, I can explore deeper yearnings without regard to a board’s expectations – an introvert’s dream.

It’s not that I find the profession of psychology unworthy. It’s simply no longer adequate for me. Originally meaning “study of soul,” psychology in general doesn’t seem much interested the psyche, (let alone soul) with its modern emphases on behaviorism, neurology and managed care. Not that they lack value but, again, they are not adequate, being but a small slice of human experience.

My interest in psychology came out of a fascination with people and their interactions, and an awareness of suffering and irrationality. What’s more, from a young age, I was aware of paranormal experiences that many people have that do not fit our religious beliefs, our modern scientific biases or our psychological formulations of mundane “reality.” Religions talk about it, fight against it, try to control it. Scientists tend to deny it. Social expectations put a taboo on it. But many people, if they feel safe, can tell you of any number of paranormal, uncanny, or Otherworldly experiences – the kinds of things that indigenous peoples and shamans take for granted.

In my ruminations of late, it became evident that my deeper interest has always been in soul and its relationship to the psyche, to community and to the larger world; and my best psychological work served to help people establish a better relationship between the conscious self and the deeper self or soul.

I will continue to teach about 1) past-life influences and karma, 2) shamanic practices, 3) Druidism and 4) stress-management. I’ll consult on the modern application of these topics and may work with past-life memories as a matter of exploration rather than psychotherapy and, for sure, I’ll continue to write and play music.

No longer an official psychologist, what can I call myself after the 31^st? After all, we label everything and everyone, if only on IRS forms or bank applications. I hesitate to say “shaman” because we don’t live in a shamanic culture. I hesitate to say “Druid priest” because we don’t live in a Celtic culture where it had a meaning it no longer carries. I probably shouldn’t say “past-life therapist” because it could be construed as continuing to practice psychology. “Shamanist” might do.

In a way, it doesn’t matter so much what I call myself now, except I want the rest of my life to be an expression of what’s deepest in my heart. “Teacher,” “author” and “consultant” are simple enough but lack the content that means the most to me. Perhaps that’s the best we can do. Perhaps some other label will suggest itself over time.

Then, you might ask, why October 31? What we know as “Halloween” is the traditional Celtic New Year – the eve of the month of Samhain. It was the time when animals were brought in from pasture with some selected for overwintering and some for slaughter. Survival, mortality and our relationship with the Otherworld come to the fore then. What will feed a hungry people in a time of scarcity is what will be carried into the winter. And people hunger now for soul food in a world of distraction, distress and vacuous media. Thus, it seems appropriate to let die that whose season is spent.

On a lighter note, masks and disguises are a part of this season, too, and my evolution out of the world of mainstream psychology may be seen as allowing a new mask to face the world – or, perhaps, the removal of a mask that no longer quite fits.

Happy Halloween and a Blessed Samhain.